It’s getting ridiculous, I know. I went from proclaiming I would never run a race, to running my fourth half marathon in 6 months. The problem is that I now have proof that my brain is broken. You know, aside from the fact that I’ve run four half marathons and I’m signed up to run 2 more. This year.

The Drop 13 Half Marathon takes you down Big Cottonwood Canyon and through a little ravine to Market Street Oyster Bar & Grill in Cottonwood Heights. It’s a pretty spectacular and gorgeous run to start at 6 AM. After taking a bus up the canyon at 4:30 AM. After getting up at 3:30 AM. It’s excessively early. But again, it’s reaaaaallly gorgeous.

The race is downhill, so I was thinking that it wouldn’t be too hard to get to the finish line in under 2 hours again. I took off down the mountain and the miles flew by, a lot easier than I thought they should, and I wasn’t even feeling the burn. It was great! I even took a potty break in the middle. And afterwards I ran faster. I made it down the canyon, which put me at about mile 10, when I started getting a little … funny.

First of all, a song came on my mix (Girl on Fire) and it suddenly made me think of this scene in the trailer for Blended:

This shirt is on fire.”

And I started laughing. While running. Laughing uncontrollably. I had to stop and walk for a bit because I was making a scene. I drank some water and had a gummy and pulled myself together.

For one mile.

Which is about where I saw a sign near a puddle that said, “No boating or swimming.” Ok, maybe it wasn’t a puddle. But it was practically a puddle you guys. It was in the middle of a residential/commercial area. It was smaller than your average backyard pond. If such a thing is actually average.

I lost it. I mean, it, as in, my marbles. I had to stop again to get my sh*t together. And then I somehow made it the last whatever miles I had left, and was surprised to find that despite my shenanigans and potty break I managed to get in under 2 hours…

Yeah, 1:49:27 … I was just happy to have my medal and my ice cream. And then a giant breakfast with coffee and bacon. Clearly, that is the breakfast of champions.

Also, The Oatmeal completely understands my pain on running these things.

Event Specs

Event Managed by: On Hill Events
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Personal Participation Count: 1 of 2
Event Expo: No

Race Start time: 6:00 am, but you have to be on a bus up the canyon by 4:30 am (-1)
Race Day Weather: 55-65 degrees
Race Features: beautiful views, all downhill (you run fast without even trying)

Water Stations: 6 | Every 2 Miles
Energy Supplement Stations: Yes | Cliff Shots or Gu (couldn’t tell) before mile 8
Race Course: 3000 ft Elevation Drop down Big Cottonwood Canyon
Running with Traffic: Yes, but there are police escorts monitoring the closed lane for runners

Finisher Medal: Yes but it is sooooo ugly! (-1)
Special Category Medals: Yes

Half Marathon Rating: 8 out of 10